The Way I Am
by Morningglory5510
Summary: I know someone who doesn't like Snape and thinks that there is no excuse for his behavior. I happen to love him and find him a victim of all that's happened to him. I wanted to write the story of how he came to be, to show how his horrible life lead to his mean personality in adulthood so that maybe they would understand where I was coming from.
1. Chapter 1

******I know someone who doesn't like Snape and thinks that there is no excuse for his behavior. I happen to love him and find him a victim of all that's happened to him. I wanted to write the story of how he came to be, to show how his horrible life lead to his mean personality in adulthood so that maybe they would understand where I was coming from.** So here's the first chapter... I own nothing!

"Flithy piece of trash!" he spat. "Garbage!"

The burly man grabbed hold of his wife's arm roughly, surely leaving bruises on her pale skin. He threw her to the ground and she crumpled there, whimpering.

"He'll be just like you, of course!" the man yelled. "Disgusting, a freak!"

He came at the woman, kicked her in the stomach and across her battered body. His face was red, spittle flew from his mouth. To the boy hiding in the corner, he seemed like a giant in a book his mother once read to him.

When he was done beating on his wife, he rounded on the boy, his eyes seaching the room for the small form he knew would be there. It wasn't long until he spotted the heap of old clothes draped over the skinny boy's bony body. He pointed to the boy and began to stomp toward him.

"You!" he bellowed. "You'll be just like her! Already, you're a coward. You hide in the corners and watch while your mother is beaten. What kind of a man are you?"  
He reached the boy and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up until they were eye-level. Two dark pairs of eyes met and the man shook his son roughly.

"I asked you a question, boy!" he shouted.

The boy did not answer.

Angrily, his father threw him to the ground, against the wall where his bones creaked and protested upon imact.

"I'm going out," he announced.

Without any more violence, the man left the house. All that was left was the destruction of the tornado. At least the beast was gone.

For a moment, the boy lay against the wall breathing heavily, but then he stood and made his way over to his mother. She was still in a crumpled heap where her husband left her. She might've been dead except for the fact that every few seconds her body quivered with a heavy breath.

The boy turned her over and her eyes set upon his face in anguish. She reached up to cup his face in her hands.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

He nodded to her, "I know, Mum."

He didn't tell her it was okay because it wasn't. She was sorry, but she would never leave. The boy knew this. His mother, though battered and beaten nearly every day, would never leave her abusive husband. Somehow, she loved him and she couldn't leave even to save her son.

"Let's go outside," she said, almost fully recovered from the attack. "I want to finish some gardening."

The day still had some sun left to it and so the boy and his mother went to the front yard to finish working on the flowers. They worked mostly in silence, but occassionally the woman would talk to him.

"You'll love Hogwarts when you're old enough to go," she said. "It's beautiful and the people are wonderful."

This was the very thing they weren't supposed to be talking about, the very reason his father hated them. Still, here she was telling him of how he'd love it. He wasn't sure he'd ever make it there, though. His father would never pay for something like that and he wouldn't want his son to go learn more about the hideous creature he was.

"The food is wonderful," she told him.

The boy stood up, "I'm going to the park."

His mother did not seem surprised by the sudden statement. She just nodded and continued her gardening without looking up to see him walk off.

It wasn't a very long walk to the small park their town held and so the boy was there in moments. The first thing he saw upon his arrival were the two girls sitting on the swings. He ducked behind a bush before they could see him.

He'd had a fascination with these girls since he first laid eyes on them, but neither one ever stayed around long if he was present. The only way he could be around them was to hide behind a bush and watch. He wondered what it would be like to have a sibling, but then pushed that thought aside because he would never want another person to live with his father.

One girl, the older one, jumped off the swing and landed with a thump in the grass a few feet away. The younger girl, the one the boy was truly infatuated with, copied her sister's action. Only, she didn't end up with knees full of dirt like the girl before her. Instead, she floated smoothly to the ground and landed lightly on her feet.

Her older sister's face was scrunched up by the time the boy looked back to her.

"You're a freak," she spat.

"No, Tunie! I don't know how I did it!" the younger girl cried.

Her older sister sneered, "I'm telling Mummy."

"I don't know what happened!"

"Freak!"

The boy behind the bushes could take it no longer and stood up, marching over to where the girls were fighting.

"She's not a freak!" he yelled.

Both sisters looked at him, surprised by his outburst and sudden appearance. The older, Tunie, sneered once more and stomped off back toward their home on the other side of town.

The boy turned to look at the younger girl. Her long hair was firey red and her eyes a kind, pretty green. She started to follow her sister without speaking a word. The boy's heart began to race. Had he done the wrong thing?

"Wait!" he called.

The girl stopped and looked back at him.

He did the only thing he could think to do. Picking up a fallen leaf from the ground, he sent it over to her without any physical aid. Her eyes widened in surprise and she slowly walked back toward him.

"My name's Lily," she said. "Lily Evans."

"I'm Severus Snape," he replied.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days later they sat under a tree at the park where they met. Each took turns doing small bits of magic as Severus told her more about the wizarding world.

"And then there's Hogwarts," he continued.

Lily raised her eyebrows, "What's a Hogwarts?"

Severus shook his head, "It's not a thing, it's a place. It's the school we'll go to when we turn eleven."  
"How do we get to it?" Lily asked.

"There's a special train just for magical kids like us and it'll take us there," he answered, turning a brown leaf pink.

"How do they know how many people are coming?" Lily questioned, copying him and turning it blue.

"They send out a letter to all the magical kids that way they know what books to buy and where to go," he said.

"What if I don't get a letter?" Lily inquired. "What if they don't know about me? My parents aren't magical. What if they forget me?"

Severus shook his head, "There are plenty of wizards with non-magical parents at Hogwarts. They won't forget you."

"But how do you know?" she pressed.

"How about this? If they forget to send you a letter, I'll go talk to the Headmaster personally and get him to send you one," Severus attempted to reassure her.

Lily laughed and Severus was happy to see her smile once more. They continued their game of turning the leaf different colors.

"What's Hogwarts like?" she asked, forgetting her earlier worries.

"The food's supposed to be great," Severus told her. "And there are four houses that they split kids into. They live there and go to classes together and compete against each other. Slytherin's the best house, though. They're the smartest and the strongest. I know that's where I'll be sorted."  
"What about the other houses, Sev? What's so bad about them?" Lily asked.

Severus sneered, "Well Hufflepuff is for all the babies. People in Hufflepuff can't do anything. Ravenclaw's okay, I guess. They're really smart."

"Isn't that three, though?"

"The last one's the worst," Severus told her. "It's called Gryffindor. That's where all the really stuck-up people go. They break all the rules and don't get in trouble and think they're better than everyone else."

"I hope I don't get sorted there," Lily said.

"I'm sure you'll be in Slytherin with me," Severus replied confidently.

It was then that they noticed the girl watching them from the corner of the park. It was Lily's sister and she was headed their way. Lily sighed and Severus sneered.

Petunia did not even look in his direction.

"Mummy says it's time to come home," she told Lily.

Severus noticed that her face was kind of horse-shaped. She looked nothing like his beautiful friend Lily.

"Okay," Lily replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Severus nodded, deciding that it would be better if he didn't pick fights with his friend's sister.

"Come on, Lily. I don't know why you want to hang out with a freak like him," Petunia said.

Severus jumped up at the word 'freak', ready to fight. Lily ran back to him, shaking her head.

"Don't, Sev!" she pleaded.

Although he didn't want to listen to her, he backed off and watched as they left, doing nothing to the girl who constantly insulted both him and Lily. Once alone, he turned and started toward his own home.

His mother was in the kitchen making dinner, his father had yet to return home. Severus was thankful for this. He sat at the table, watching his mother work about the kitchen.

"Why don't you leave?" he asked.

His mother sighed, tired by this line of questioning. They'd been over this many times before.

"I can't, Severus," she told him.

"Why not?" he demanded, feeling slightly angry.

Her eyes landed on his face as she said, "I love him. I can't leave him because I love him."

"Don't you love me?" Severus asked.

She looked pained as she answered, "Of course, I do."

"Why don't we go, then? Before he gets home, we'll just be gone!" Severus said.

His mother shook her head, "No. We have to stay."  
She looked about ready to cry and Severus finally gave in to his mother's silent pleas for him to stop asking these questions. It was lucky they stopped, too, because at that moment the front door opened and the man being spoken about walked in.

His face was red, as it always was, and he looked about ready to explode. They all knew he stopped at the bar before he made his way home from work. The drink was his best friend and he spent most of his time there if he wasn't working or beating on his family.

"Where's my dinner?" he thundered as Severus jumped away from the table.

"Almost done," Eileen, his mother, replied.

The man, Tobias, was immediately furious and it showed in the veins that popped from beneath the skin in shades of dark purple and deep blue. He stormed toward his wife and grabbed her arm hard enough that the yellow handprint-shaped bruise was already taking form. She didn't protest, but gasped at the sudden-ness of his attack.

"Go to your room, boy," Tobias commanded, glaring harshly at Severus.

This command was so common that, though he felt frozen to his spot, his feet carried him away from the awful scene. He quickly escaped around the corner and out of sight of his father where his feet finally stopped and his hearing heightened even when he wished it wouldn't.

"I thought I told you to have it ready by the time I got home!" Tobias shouted. "I've been at work all day long and I can't even come home to a decent meal. I bet you've been with all the men in town while I work hard to give you this house and food to cook."  
There was a gasp and Severus cringed. He could imagine only too vividly what his father might be doing that would make his mother make that sound. Too many times he'd snuck a peek or got caught in the same room when his father got angry. Severus wanted to run all the way up to his bedroom, but he couldn't move.

A squeal of pain came from the next room and Severus quickly ran up the stairs, feeling like the coward his father always liked to call him. One day, he promised himself, one day he wouldn't let people treat him that way. No one would step on Severus Snape.


	3. Chapter 3

In exchange for an entire year away from his disgraceful son, Tobias Snape agreed to let Severus go to Hogwarts. He refused to put any money into it, but his mother later told him that her parents left her some when they died. She would take him to Diagon Alley the next day along with Lily and her family.

Severus was excited. All of the stories his mother told him would now be brought into reality and he would get to share it with the girl of his dreams.

Yes, Severus realized that, while he was only eleven years old, he was in love with Lily Evans or close to it. They were best friends. He only wished that her sister didn't have to get in the way of it. Petunia hated him and she hated the fact that Lily was magical.

The day came when, finally, his mother told him to get ready because they were going to Diagon Alley. With his letter held firmly in his right hand, Severus followed her down the road toward Lily's house.

Her parents were enthralled with all things magical. They loved everything to do with it and Severus was exactly the same. Though he was a wizard, he'd never been allowed to go anywhere that had magic. His mother wasn't even allowed to do magic at home because of his father.

After a long day at Diagon Alley, having spent quite a bit of money on all of the school supplies needed for a first year, they returned to their town. The next day they would head off to the train station and board platform 9 3/4.

"That was fun," Lily commented.

Petunia crinkled her nose, "It was awful. I think you're all freaks."

Lily looked ready to cry, "You don't mean it, do you Tunie?"

"Magic isn't normal," Petunia continued. "You're weird."

"We are not," Severus interrupted, angry at seeing his best friend in tears.

"Yeah you are," Petunia argued.

Severus shook his head, "We're not. You're just jealous, Petunia."

The older girl looked at him in disdain, "Why would I be jealous of a freak like you? Your father doesn't even come home half the time. I've seen him stumbling down the streets in the morning like he's been at the bar."  
Severus would have attacked her if it wasn't for Lily's arm across his chest.

"Stop it!" she cried.

"Sorry, Lily," Severus said.

Petunia just crossed her arms and looked the other way.

Upon returning home, the Snapes said goodbye to Evans family and slipped through the front door of their house. Tobias Snape passed out on the couch, a bottle of beer held firmly in his hand.

Eileen walked up the stairs without a word and Severus could hear her bedroom door close behind her. He followed slowly, weighed down by the bags he carried. He walked passed his parent's room and into his own at the end of the hall.

In his own room, Severus set the bags on the floor and began to go through them. There was so much about magic that he didn't know! Immediately, he pulled out a book his mother gave him and began to read through it. He absorbed the knowledge, not wanting to feel out of place when he arrived at Hogwarts. This was his chance to become something. Finally, he wouldn't be inferior and he could learn to stand up to his father.

Severus continued reading late into the night and around midnight he heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. A door opened and slammed shut. He tried to ignore it and immerse himself in his book. His father's booming voice wiped out all chance of that.

The next morning his mother seemed more worn out than he'd seen her in a while. Severus was up most of the night reading and from the time his father came tromping up the stairs to when Severus went to sleep, the yells continued.

Severus was worried about his mother. If he went to Hogwarts, who would be here to watch over her? When he voiced these concerns to her, she assured him that she would be perfectly fine. He knew better, but decided not to argue.

At 9:45, they left to the Evans' house. They would all be going to King's Cross Station together. Lily was no longer afraid of not getting her letter, but rather missing the train. Severus assured her that they wouldn't, but she still bounced beside him in the car as they travelled down the street.

Petunia scowled at them from the next seat over, but didn't dare say a word while her parents were in the car. Severus was glad that she wouldn't upset Lily anymore that day because he hated to see her cry. He did his best to keep his friend's attention away from her sister's disapproving frown.

The train station was very busy that day. People were everywhere, but Eileen Snape led the way through the crowd confidently. Severus was surprised at how she conducted herself when they weren't around his father. She seemed almost normal except for the dark circles under her eyes and the nervous flinch whenever someone bumped into her.

They stopped beside a wall between platforms 9 and 10.

"Alright," Eileen said. "All you have to do is walk straight at the wall. If you're afraid you might want to run."

Her eyes landed on her son.

"Severus, why don't you go first?" she suggested.

Severus took a deep breath and started toward the wall, putting his head down and closing his eyes. Instead of colliding with the brick like he expected, he went right through! Children were everywhere. Lots of them wore long robes, but still others were wearing plain muggle clothing. Behind him, Lily and her family came through the wall. His mother was the last.

"Come on," Eileen said. "Let's get you a seat on the train."

The group started toward the train slowly, their way blocked by the crowd of students and their families. Lily was bouncing excitedly, a smile stretching her face. She grabbed Severus' arm happily.

"This is so cool!" she breathed.

Severus smirked at her in amusement.

Eventually they arrived at a door to the train. Lily's parents were nearly in tears. Severus' mother looked at him with a thin smile.

Lily hugged her family as Severus stepped up to his mother. She did not initiate the hug, but she put her arms around him when he hugged her. He figured this was good enough.

Grabbing their things, Severus and Lily boarded the train to find a seat. Many of the compartments they passed were already full, but they finally found an empty one near the back. They put their things away and sat down across from each other.

"I can't wait to get there!" Lily exclaimed.

Severus nodded happily.

The train slowly started moving and the door to their compartment opened.

"Can we sit here? No where else is open," a boy with dark, messy hair asked.

"Sure," Lily replied.

The boy took a seat, followed by his friend.

"My name's James, James Potter," the dark haired one introduced. "And this is Sirius Black."

Lily looked pleased that they were already making friends, but Severus wasn't so sure he liked these boys.

"I'm Lily Evans," Lily replied.

Three pairs of eyes turned to Severus and he mumbled his name.

"Have you heard about houses?" James asked.

Lily nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm sure I'm going to be in Gryffindor," he said. "My entire family was. It's in my blood."

"My parents aren't magical so I don't know what house I'll be in," Lily told him.

"What house do you want to be in, Snape?" James asked.

Knowing that his answer would cause trouble, Severus sneered, "Slytherin."  
James and Sirius looked disgusted.

The rest of the train ride seemed too long to Severus. Lily spoke mostly with the other two boys and Severus stared out the window, commenting every now and then on something James or Sirius would say.

When the train pulled to a stop, Severus and Lily moved away from them. A man was shouting for first years and Lily grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the lake.

"Into the boats!" the man yelled.

Severus and Lily took their seats beside two other kids they didn't know. Lily gaped up at the castle.

"Whoa, Sev," she whispered. "It's huge."

He nodded.

She continued to comment about the castle's beauty and size until they docked. A hushed group of children made their way toward the school.

A witch dressed in robes and a pointy hat awaited them at the front entrance. Her face was stern, brown hair pulled up into a severe bun.

"Right this way, please," she said.

She turned and started into the castle, the group following behind. They were all quiet now, except for their occassional whispers about the castle or the upcoming sorting. They huddled together, nervous and afraid of what lay ahead.

Outside large wooden doors, they came to a stop. The professor turned around to look at the group of eleven-year-olds.

"In a few minutes these doors will open and you will be lead into the Great Hall. You will sit on the stool and the Sorting Hat will be placed on your head. You will be sorted into one of the four houses: Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin. Your house will become your family during your time here. Your triumphs will earn you points and your mistakes will take them away. I will return shortly to retrieve you," she said.

The professor slipped through the big doors and was gone. The first years instantly began talking. What was the Sorting Hat? What house would they be put into? Would they be with their friends after this?

Severus was quiet, knowing exactly where he was going to be placed. Beside him, Lily buzzed with excitement.

"Do you think we'll be put in the same house, Sev?" she asked.

"Of course we will!" he exclaimed.

"But what if we're not?"

Severus shook his head, "We will be."

"Will you still be my friend if we're not?"

"But we will be, Lily. I know it."

"Will you, Sev?" Lily pressed.

Severus sighed and assured her, "Of course I will, Lily."

She beamed brightly at him and he smiled back.

The professor with the stern face slipped back through the doors and called them to attention. Finally, they were opened and the new students could see the Great Hall before them.

Lily gasped and silently, Severus was amazed as well. They walked down the center aisle in the front of the crowd, being gaped at by all of the older students.

"Oh, Sevvy, look up!" Lily whispered.

Severus did as ordered and was amazed at the sight. The ceiling was dark like the night sky and stars scattered across it. He'd never seen anything like it.

"How do you think they do it?" Lily asked.

"It's magic, Lily," Severus replied.

The girl sighed, "Wow."

They came to a stop at the front of the room and gathered around an old stool. On top of the stool was an even older grey hat. Severus guess this was the 'Sorting Hat', but didn't understand how this would help put them into houses.

"Abbey, Deborah," the professor announced.

A small girl with large glasses and even larger hair stepped up to the stool and her quivering form could be seen from the back of the Hall. The Hat was placed on her head and for a moment the room was silent.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the Hat suddenly shouted.

Deborah Abbey sighed, relieved, and hopped off the stool to hurry over to her new table where the students happily congratulated her.

It wasn't long until the professor was calling, "Evans, Lily!"

Severus nodded encouragingly at her and watched as she made her way up to the Hat. It took some time deliberating about where to place her. Then, it took what seemed to be a deep breath and Severus held his.

"GRYFFINDOR!" it yelled.

Lily hopped off the stool and scurried over to her new table with a small smile on her face. Severus watched from his place in the group with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He had been so sure that they would be in the same house and there was no way he was going to be put in Gryffindor.

"Potter, James!" the professor called.

The boy with messy, black hair stalked confidently toward the stool. The Hat was barely on his head when it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"

James Potter quickly made it over to his table and sat beside Lily as Severus looked on.

Finally, the professor said his name, "Snape, Severus!"

Severus walked up to the stool and sat, waiting for the Hat to be placed on his head. What he didn't expect was the voice that suddenly filled his ears when it was.

"Ah, another Snape. I wondered if another would come through here. Your mother was a Slytherin. You would fit well there, too. You're very smart, you could be a Ravenclaw. Hmm, best to put you in - SLYTHERIN!"

Severus was both relieved and disappointed. He knew he would be put in Slytherin, but now he wouldn't be with Lily. He wanted to be with his best friend, but he also wanted to stay as far away from Gryffindor as possible.

He hopped off the stool and started for the Slytherin table to his right. They cheered, but also sneered at him and eyed him as he sat down.

The rest of the sorting passed quickly and finally, the Headmaster spoke. He told them all of the rules and then gave them permission to start eating.

Severus didn't initiate conversation with any of the kids who sat beside him and most of them kept to themselves as well. A few seats down, though, a boy with brown hair piped up.

"My name's Wilkes, and you are?"

He was forcing everyone within a five-seat radius to state their names. Eventually the introductions came to Severus.

"Who're you?" Wilkes asked, his tone accusing as if anyone who didn't belong there would just come along and sit with them.

"Snape," he replied. "Severus Snape."

"What's your blood-status?" the other boy asked.

"My mum's a pureblood," Severus answered.

Wilkes raised his eyebrows, "What about your dad?"

"He's of no importance," Severus said.

This seemed good enough for the boy and he moved on to his next victim. Severus went back to eating.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days taught Severus how to survive in his new environment. Slytherin was unlike any other house in the school. The members fought amongst themselves and formed packs like wild dogs. They picked on the weakest link and adored the highest members.

Severus had yet to join a group. He didn't really talk to anyone and they stayed away from him. They all watched him, wondering if he would be a good addition. There was one person in particular who was keeping an eye on him - Lucius Malfoy, a prefect in their house.

Malfoy was interested in the young boy because he showed promise. Already, Severus was using the library to check out books of dark magic, wanting a way to fight back when he returned home. Lucius saw this as promise that maybe he would be a good tool to have in a fight. He might even be a good recruit for the man he was working for.

Lucius didn't approach him, but continued to watch him and his progress with his books.

Severus practiced as much as he could with the spells he was learning, but didn't have too much time. He worked to keep up with his homework and spent much of the rest of his time with Lily. His promise to her still rang true, he would be her friend even if she was placed in Gryffindor.

The two were still best friends, even though they didn't get to see each other as often as they hoped. They spent afternoons outside like they had back home and in the evenings they did homework or studied in the library. Some of their classes were together, but not as many as Severus might have hoped.

Being friends with a Gryffindor brought a lot of negative attention to him from his own house. The older students tried to tell him kindly at first, hoping to look out for him. When he didn't listen, they taunted him about it and finally started to throw insults at the pair of them. None of this was as bad as his new enemy.

The first meeting with James Potter and Sirius Black were not his last and certainly weren't the worst. It seemed that the Gryffindor pair had a problem with him and they teased him mercilessly. As they learned spells, jinxes, and hexes they practiced them on Severus. They went out of their way to cause him pain and humiliate him.

With all the time Severus spent in the library, he was quickly able to do as much or more harm to them when they came around. Two against one was never good odds, though, and often they caught him off guard when he was reading or doing homework. He had to be on his toes at all times to avoid their abuse and he wasn't too great at that. Their constant taunting of him only pushed him to find other ways to fight back. He wouldn't let them do this for long.

Lily adapted well to being in Gryffindor. She was upset the first few days, but after that she fell right in with the girls and quickly became popular with the students and professors. The only thing she didn't like about her house was Black and Potter. She disapproved of their treatment of Severus and thought they were just like what he described Gryffindors to be.

Evans was soon the top of her class, studying every night with Severus in the library before skipping off to bed before curfew. The only person who beat her was Severus and they competed for the title of the best.

For the most part, Severus enjoyed Hogwarts. He absorbed the knowledge that was thrown his way and thrived on the power that magic gave him. He finally found a place where he might actually belong.

At Christmastime, the boy opted to stay at the castle while the rest of the school returned home. Lily could not stay, but promised to write. On the last day in the school, as everyone was ushered out of the building, she quickly hugged him before flashing him a smile and skipping off toward the carriages that would take her to the train. Severus felt his heart constrict at the contact and a shy smile spread across his face as he watched her leave.

The empty castle and absence of Lily Potter gave the other Slytherins a chance to finally get at Severus. It was the first day of break and he sat curled in a deep green armchair reading up on theories for advanced hexes and jinxes when they cornered him.

Two older Slytherins, dressed in green and silver robes, stood before the young boy and waited for him to acknowledge them. Severus paid them no attention as he finished his paragraph. Slowly, his eyes wandered from the yellowed pages of his book up the brutish males blocking any exit possible. This fact did not seem to disturb the first year.

"Can I help you?" Severus sneered as he closed his book with a thump.

"Lost without your Mudblood friend, eh Snape?" one asked. His face was pinched and sweaty, his blonde hair falling into his fevered hazel eyes. He was muscular from constant quidditch practice, but didn't have the brians to stay on the team without intimidating others to do his schoolwork. None of this seemed to affect the young boy.

"It seems like you are the one who is lost, Lacan. I can see how you would confuse the green of the room for the quidditch pitch. Now, I really must be going, if you'll excuse me," Severus said as he stood. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was slightly shocked by his bold reply.

"You're not going anywhere," the other boy said. He was also on the Slytherin quidditch team and was even dumber than his friend. His dirty blonde hair was cut short and he had dirt on his face and neck. Scars covered his cheeks and forehead from prolonged acne and his breath stunk as he got into Severus' face.

For his part, Severus just stepped back. His hand immediately dove into his robes and he fumbled for a moment to grasp his wand. The boys guaffed at him as he attempted to get to his weapon. When he pulled it from his clothes they were watching him with laughter in their eyes.

"Leave him alone," an aristocratic voice interrupted before Severus could get out a shot.

The two bullies turned angrily toward the source of the disturbance, but quickly backed down. Severus stretched to see who was sticking up for him.

Pale skin and white-blonde hair came into view as well as the cold stare of Lucius Malfoy. His mouth was turned downward in a slight frown as his eyebrows pulled tightly over his pale blue eyes. For a moment, he surveyed the scene without speaking.

"That is no way to treat a fellow Slytherin," Malfoy stated. "I think you two should be on your way."

Lacan and his friend nodded, dully and left the common room, disappointed that their fun had been ruined.

"Interesting book?" Malfoy questioned as he took a seat on a long couch.

Severus returned to his chair and stuttered over his response.

"It's uh, it's alright I guess," he mumbled.

Malfoy watched him keenly, plotting and planning a Slytherin does.

"I thought perhaps you could join me and a few friends after dinner tonight," he suggested.

Severus was shocked by the invitation. He'd seen Malfoy and his gang around and knew that they didn't let anyone else come near them. They were the superstars of Slytherin and you didn't get into their club unless invited. This seemed like an invitation to him.

The boy wanted to agree immediately, but calmed himself before he sounded like the overeager first year that he was. He sat silently for a few moments as he thought about what this meant. A spot in this club was very big indeed.

"Sure," Severus agreed with a nonchalant nod of his head.

"Excellent. Of course, this means you will have to sit with us as well," Malfoy stated.

"Of course," Severus replied coolly. He flushed red when the older boy raised his eyebrow at his reply.

Lucius smirked and rose from the couch, "Enjoy your afternoon, Snape."

With that, the prefect stalked off, leaving a stunned Severus in his wake.

Said boy sputtered for a moment after the door closed behind Malfoy. He cast his eyes around the room, then returned to his book, wondering why Lucius would want him to join them and if he could possibly be accepted.

Because of his great nervousness, dinner arrived faster than it ever had before. Severus put his book in his dorm and went down to the Great Hall.

All of the house tables had been removed for the holiday and instead were replaced by one long table that everyone, including professors, could sit at. The Slytherins found their own corner of the table and made it their own. At the farthest end of it, Malfoy's group sat slightly separated from their peers. One spot was left open when Severus arrived.

Lucius noticed him before he was able to make it to the Slytherin end of the table.

"Snape! Have a seat," Malfoy ordered, nodding to the empty chair near him.

Severus slid into the spot and began to grab his food, feeling very small and unsure of himself.

"Picking up strays again, are you Lucius?" an older girl asked. She had long, unruly black hair and dark brown eyes. Her smirk was taunting as she looked in the first year's direction.

"Be nice, Bella," Malfoy replied. "This is Severus Snape."  
"Severus, what an odd name," the girl, Bella, stated.

"Pleasure to meet you, Severus," another girl greeted. She leaned across the table to shake his hand and smiled sweetly at him. She looked strikingly similar to Bella, but with blonde hair and blue eyes. "You'll have to excuse my sister. She acts like that to everybody."  
Malfoy proceeded to introduce him to the rest of the gang and Severus tried to retain as many names as possible. Many of them he knew from observing them in the halls, classrooms, or common room, but others he didn't recognize and struggled to commit to memory.

After dinner, the Slytherin group made their way to the common room in a pack. The front of the group was quiet and Severus made sure to walk closer to them than the back. Rowdier students occupied that portion of the group. At the center of it all was Bellatrix Black, laughing wilding and throwing herself between boys who cackled and stared at her as if she were a piece of meat. Lucius lead them, Narcissa Black at his side. They were quite the regal pair.

They convened before the fire as the rest of the Slytherins made themselves comfortable in other corners of the common room. Severus found himself in the chair he'd been in before dinner and he seemed to sink into it, almost wishing that no one would see him. He felt he'd had enough attention for one night.

"So what do you think, Snape?" Malfoy questioned. "Would you be interested in joining our group?"

Severus' heart beat spastically in his chest. He wasn't sure if he could say no or not, but then he didn't know why he wanted to say no. They were offering him friendship and he only ever had one friend before.

The boy flushed red when he realized that he'd been quiet too long and now was being stared at expecantly. Malfoy's eyebrow was raised critically as he waited for an answer.

Severus nodded and lowered his eyes.

"What was that?" Malfoy asked.

"Yes," Severus muttered. How did one accept an invitation like that? Just say yes and you're in? Was there something more to it?

Lucius sat up straight with a smirk on his face, "Good. Welcome to the gang, Snape."

The other's ears seemed to perk up at this and suddenly they were grinning at him, patting his back and welcoming him. This obviously wasn't an ordinary group of friends, but Severus ignored this and finally allowed himself to feel accepted.

Christmas day came, but he didn't expect anything special and it certainly wasn't. Under the tree in the common room, only one box waited for him. He pulled it out and unwrapped it in the dark of the morning. None of the other students were awake yet and Severus was glad because then they wouldn't see him in this vunerable state.

Lily had sent him a book on advanced potions and a kit that would allow him to work on them outside of the potion's lab. He grinned at the gift for a moment before taking it up to his room. His smile faded as he wondered what Lily would think of his gift to her. It certainly wasn't much, but he didn't have the money for anything expensive that he might've wanted to buy her.

He waited until breakfast time before he came down from his room again. The rest of the Slytherins were awake now and they barely looked at him before going back to their presents.

"Come to check your haul?" Lucius asked.

Severus shrugged, "I already took my things up to my room."

Lucius returned to his gifts, smirking at the things his parents bought him. Severus barely noticed that there weren't any presents from his parents under the tree. They didn't give him anything at home so he didn't expect anything better now that he was away.

For a fleeting moment there was silence and Severus wondered if the older boy would comment, but then he shrugged and went back to carefully opening the rest of his packages.

"Alright then," Malfoy said.

At breakfast, owl post came as usual, though only two owls appeared from the rafters. One flew straight for the Headmaster, dropping a large box onto his plate and gracefully landing on the old man's shoulder. The other swooped in and dropped it's letter in Severus' runny eggs. It proceeded to topple onto the table and shake its feathers , causing them to fly everywhere before it began to help itself to what was on the table.

One of Lucius' friends sniggered, "Quite an owl you've got there, Snape."  
Severus looked down, embarrassed, and picked up the envelope wondering who sent him a letter. He never got letters. It read:

_Happy Christmas, Eileen_

Like a greeting card sent out to family members you didn't talk to except for once a year, that was all she wrote. No 'Love', not 'Mum' or 'Mother', just Eileen. Short and to the point. Severus was surprised he'd gotten anything from her at all and told himself not to be disappointed. Still, he almost would have rather avoided the embarrassment of the owl and just got nothing at all.


End file.
